Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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