Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
