I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Did I show you my penis last night?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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