I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
