it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
