i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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