I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
