Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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