I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
