Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
