That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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