Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize