I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
