You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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