Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
