how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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