this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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