I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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