have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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