I can text with my tongue
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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