you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize