If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
