Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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