That's intense
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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