I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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