1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
