please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Randomize
