Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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