chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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