what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize