ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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