What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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