remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
