So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
