Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
How naked do you want me to be?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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