you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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