yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
