I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
