ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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