lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
