I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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