I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize