So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
