would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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