I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
