I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
