you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
