he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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