We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
