what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
