I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
