Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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