Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The air taste purple.
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