I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
