I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
