The maid of honor just puked.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
