I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
