I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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