I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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