I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
