guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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