My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
