how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
