It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
