i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
