you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize