She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
