We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
