I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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