she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
