Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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