tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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