weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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