Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
